Pink Phizz

Friday, November 04, 2005

It's Friday. Time for a test.

Are You a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? Here is a little test that will help you decide:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor? Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer: BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Hollow Points?"

Thanks so much from Blondage over at Perverted Republican for this wonderful analogy.


At 10:06 AM , Anonymous the letter b said...

what if i chose to stand rooted to the ground, point at the madman and then larf? guffawing so hard that i'd keel over, holding my sides and then proclaim, "Hassan, is that the same Halloween costume you've had been wearing for, say, 5 years now? Your one funny creature."

Either he'd proceed running towards me or plunge the knife right into his chest.

At 10:12 AM , Blogger "Alice" said...

That would be okay; however, I'd make sure the safety was off just in case he decided to keep on running toward me. Heh.

At 11:26 PM , Blogger DV said...

So that makes me a Southern Republican..hooray!

At 9:22 AM , Blogger "Alice" said...


At 10:59 PM , Anonymous skye said...


How many rounds are there in a Glock??

At 2:07 AM , Blogger Evilicious Blonde said...


I laugh every time I read it.....


At 12:39 AM , Blogger Fred said...

Very funny. I'm a Republican with only six bullets. I guess I'm on the fence.

At 5:12 AM , Blogger Mike's America said...

We don't see too many Islamic fanatics down south... maybe this explains why.

At 10:42 AM , Blogger "Alice" said...

Fred: Six bullets should be enough.
Mike: HA!! You're right about that!


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